“If you love me, you will obey what I command..”
Parents hope their children will love them -- and not just love them -- but obey them, too.
Our parents knew that most of our problems with disobedience came from a lack of attention -- we would get distracted -- enticed -- tired.
When we got off the track, they would apply a remedy to remind us -- a gentle swat on the bottom -- a measure of time set off to ourselves -- an undesirable chore to do. You know what worked with you!
Punishment is a time-honored way for parents to encouraging discipline. In fact, when most people hear the word “discipline,” they think of punishment. It has a way of encouraging good behavior because the discomfort of the punishment is worse than obeying the rules.
But, at some point, punishment can lose its effectiveness. Were there times when taking the punishment was more attractive than doing what your parents wanted? Did you get too big to discipline effectively, (or just developed a thick layer of calluses where you sit?)
Parents are smart, though, and when they see punishment is not working, they often turn to the other time-honored method of getting results -- rewards!
A reward can help keep our attention focused! -- How many parents have given rewards for good behavior -- filled little pockets with coins for weeding the garden, or helping to keep rooms clean?
But -- like punishment -- a system of rewards can become less effective, especially when children become young adults and they decide the reward doesn’t merit the effort needed to attain it. Did your parents have enough money to reward you for good grades in college?
Punishment and rewards both have a place in discipline. Each has a time, a place, and a purpose. Both, though, have a point where they can become ineffective.
Hopefully, before that time comes, a parent has been able to build up momentum -- a sort of critical mass -- where the discipline of their children is not based on either punishment or reward, but in stead is based on their love for their parents.
Motivation based on how much pain can be avoided, or how much of a reward can be obtained, does not have a long life. But, when a child has a love for his parents, there is no end to their wanting to please them -- even well after their parents are gone.
Love is a much better system for motivating and maintaining discipline. Jesus knew that. He hopes our obedience is a fruit of our love for Him.
God can give you more than you can imagine, and can punish you beyond your fears -- there is a Heaven, and there is a Hell -- a reward, or a punishment.
God, our true Parent, wants our affection and obedience.
Yes, we should both fear Him, and look to Him for our source of life -- but the true motivation He desires for our obedience to Him is to come from our love for Him.
1 John 5:2-4: This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.
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