When you first read this proverb you might think . . . “Well, that makes sense. Just be careful when you speak, and you’ll avoid a lot of unnecessary problems.”
But – take a closer look. You’ll find this verse contains a powerful lesson: the way we use our words has a direct impact on our inner peace, our relationships, and our witness to others.
How many times have you regretted something you said in the heat of the moment? You may have said a sharp word or two that hurt a loved one, or made an off-hand comment that created a misunderstanding with a friend.
Words are a little like toothpaste squeezed out of a tube – once they are out, you can’t just put them back in. That is why the Bible repeatedly tells us about the importance of controlling our speech.
For being such a small thing, the tongue sure has tremendous power – for bringing about both good and bad. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” With just words, we can either build others up, offering encouragement and hope – or we can tear them down with criticism and gossip. Ultimately, it is our choice, and the impact is long-lasting.
James 3:5-6 paints an even starker picture. It describes the tongue as a small spark capable of setting a great forest on fire. It’s a very vivid reminder that even a careless word can cause a lot of devastation. But the opposite is also true: when we speak with wisdom and grace, our words can bring healing and life.
Proverbs 12:18: The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
So how do we go about guarding our mouth, and especially our tongue? It all starts with being intentional. Proverbs 17:27 says, “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” Just pausing before we speak can give us a chance to consider if our words are true, kind, and necessary.
That is not always easy – especially when emotions are running high. But James gives us a practical guide in James 1:19: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” If we listen first, then speak, we can prevent an awful lot of troubles.
Something else that is important: prayer. Asking God for wisdom in our speech is vital, especially when we face challenging conversations. Psalm 141:3 offers a beautiful prayer for this: “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
By guarding our words, we don’t just protect ourselves from external conflicts – it also brings inner peace. Harsh words and unresolved conflicts can weigh heavily on the soul, but speaking with grace and wisdom leads to clearer consciences and healthier relationships. Paul, in Colossians 4:6, encourages us to let our conversation “always be full of grace, seasoned with salt.”
We will still make mistakes – we are human, after all, and sometimes words slip out before we can catch them. But by making a habit of thoughtful, prayerful speech, we can avoid many of the troubles Proverbs 21:23 warns about.
If all of this sounds daunting, don’t be discouraged. Just like any habit, it takes practice and God’s help. Start small. Just try to pause before responding in a tense moment. And – pray for wisdom before you have a difficult conversation. Just remember: watch your words – they are more powerful than you think!
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